20 Things Moms Really Fantasize About

Ah, motherhood. Sometimes it can be a fine line between “I love my kids so much I think my heart’s gonna burst” and “If I hear my kid whine one more time I think my head will explode.” As mothers, there is nothing we wouldn’t do for our kids, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t sometimes (okay, often) wish that motherhood was a little less challenging and much less frustrating.

Hands up if you lose your shit with your children at least once a day. C’mon don’t be shy. Everyone knows all moms do, otherwise, why would there be so many hot mess mom memes circulating on social media on a regular basis? Because no matter how perfect of a mother you may try to be, you can’t be perfect all the damn time, nor should you be. Perfection is overrated and being the perfect mom just doesn’t exist, am I right?

I can’t tell you how many times a day I think to myself “why the fuck is this so damn difficult?” When people say parenting ain’t easy, they aren’t kidding. While there are many books, essays, and even entire websites written to make the life of a parent just a tiny bit easier, perhaps giving you a glimmer of hope that for a brief moment in time your child might actually cooperate with you 100 percent, the fact still remains that on any given day you will find yourself fantasizing about all the things you wish you could have to make motherhood more enjoyable.

fantasize

Here’s a list of 20 things moms really fantasize about:

  1. Your child not whining about Every. Damn. Thing.
  2. Not having to repeat yourself, to the point of yelling, for your kids to actually listen to you.
  3. Your children putting toys away the first time they are told, again, without the need to yell (see number 2).
  4. Your home not looking like a hurricane of toys and other random crap didn’t just blow through it.
  5. Someone else doing all the cooking and cleaning for you.
  6. Not always having laundry to wash, fold and put away (see number 5).
  7. Enjoying dinner at a restaurant without wondering “what the fuck was I thinking?” at the end of the meal.
  8. Getting to sleep in past 7 a.m. (if you’re lucky) on the weekend.
  9. Sleeping without one of your toddler’s limbs poking you in the back, neck, face, stomach or sides.
  10. In fact, let’s face it, we all wish we would sneak off to a hotel, even for one night, where we can have a nice, comfy bed all to ourselves (I did this once and I highly recommend it!)
  11. Drinking your coffee or tea in one sitting while it’s still hot.
  12. Actually having the time to make a nice dinner for the family and your child eats it without complaint (if you’re a mom of a picky eater you’ll totally get me on this one).
  13. Getting ready in a timely manner and not being 20 minutes late, or more, when leaving the house to go anywhere.
  14. When on a road trip not hearing the phrase “this is taking so long” or the question “are we there yet?” repeatedly.
  15. Putting the kids to bed and not having to return to their room over and over again because they have to pee, need a drink of water, want one more bedtime story, are afraid of the dark or just suddenly have to ask you a serious life question out of the blue (“Mommy, why do people die?”)
  16. Sitting in a room full of toys and not hearing your child say “I’m bored.”
  17. Going to the bathroom or taking a shower without hearing your kid calling for you.
  18. For your child to not suddenly need you for something the moment you sit down to relax.
  19. Being able to have a conversation with your spouse, partner, friend or any adult for that matter, be it in person or on the phone, without constant interruption from your kid.
  20. Having a day off that we can do whatever the fuck we want. No responsibilities, just fun, and relaxation (okay, we might fantasize that it’s a week off, not just a day).

So, mamas, is there anything you would add to the list? Share in the comments below!

 

8 Comments

  1. June 4, 2018 / 10:23 pm

    Being able to eat something without having to share, or hide it so they don’t whine or beg or steal it from you..

    Quiet. What would it be like to have quiet for once?

    And being able to spontaneously go somewhere, without having to pack a bag (or 10), return to the house 3 times for stuff you (or they) forgot, and actually just .. leaving. No worries, no anxiety, no stress.

    Great list!!

    • June 4, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      I know exactly what you mean about leaving the house. Going out with the kids always takes SO long! And whenever I do get the chance to go out on my own it takes me forever to get out the door because I’m either met by a child who wants to say goodbye repeatedly or is crying and won’t let go of me.

  2. June 11, 2018 / 10:40 am

    This is so funny and so true! I think your list is spot on, mom life is so challenging but so rewarding at the same time. I fantasize about a full day and night kid free sometimes, hopefully it’s not too far away.

    • June 11, 2018 / 11:02 am

      I did one night away two years ago and it was amazing! I highly recommend it. I had a nice dinner with a very good friend of mine and enjoyed plenty of wine, without the worry of needing to drive or deal with the kids because I was walking back to my hotel room after. I got to sleep in a big comfy bed all to myself and enjoy a nice, quiet breakfast the following morning. It was bliss! I hope to do this again someday. Totally worth it! A great way to recharge 🙂

  3. Jennifer Van Huss
    June 11, 2018 / 8:07 pm

    This is a great list!! I have three kids and probably have to do these each 10 times a day!!! I love being a mom and wouldn’t change it for anything, but sometimes it can really weigh on you!

    • June 12, 2018 / 9:37 am

      Thanks! Being a mom is so hard sometimes, but we always manage to get through the day in one piece. 🙂

  4. June 12, 2018 / 6:53 am

    Yes x 20 and then yes to the other comments here. I would also add leaving the house without a blowout. I’m in the phase where our 2 year old doesn’t want to put on his shoes, doesn’t want to go to the car, and doesn’t want go places. It’s negotiation tactics that even Trump hasn’t ever seen. Art of the Deal, pffftt…

    • June 12, 2018 / 9:34 am

      Lol! I know what you mean. My 4YO daughter is lil’ miss independent right now and insists on doing up her own zipper or buckling herself into her car seat, and while I’m happy to let her learn she just takes SO long sometimes (hence the reason why we run late a lot!) Moms sure do become master negotiators, don’t we? Maybe we should run the country!

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