I have a confession to make. This weekend I lost my hair virginity. I am two months shy of my 38th birthday and I have finally coloured my hair for the first time! As a teen I watched many of my girlfriends trying different things with their hair – different styles, different colours – but for me, I always played it safe. Sure, in grade 12 I chopped my long hair off and went chin length, but that was as risky as I got. As I entered my twenties and thirties I have played around more with hairstyles but still never coloured it. I was happy with my natural hair colour.
And then it happened – the greys. Those pesky, straggly grey hairs, and at first I was lucky enough to just have a couple that was fairly hidden. You know what’s funny? Those greys did not pop up until after I had my son at the age of 32. Did the stress of motherhood bring out the greys? Or was it just a matter of timing and they would’ve presented themselves regardless? But I digress…eventually more came in and they stood out pretty well against my natural dark brown locks. I found myself finally curious about taking the plunge and colouring my hair.
Still, I held off doing it for a while and for a couple of reasons. What if I didn’t like it? Sure, I could always colour it again to fix it if I wasn’t happy but that seemed to be an expensive fix, all in the name of having nice hair.
This leads me to the other reason I stopped myself from hair colouring – the cost. Once I started I knew it would become another expense that I would be doing regularly throughout the year, and while you might think “what’s the big deal?” it was for a big deal for me, especially after becoming a mom.
It might seem silly but in my mind that extra cost on me seemed frivolous, especially when that money could go to diapers, formula, clothes and food for my kids. These are things that are necessary for my growing children. Mommy having pretty coloured hair just didn’t seem necessary.
Let’s face it, as mothers, we tend to put the needs and happiness of our kids first, which usually means sacrificing something for ourselves. It comes with the territory of motherhood, or at least it has for me, a choice I fully acknowledge as my own. Taking care of my kids and ensuring they are happy is important to me, and seeing my kids thrive brings me great joy. And for the past five years of being a mother putting their needs before my own is something that I have been fine with. However, lately, it has given me some food for thought.
My kids are growing and are becoming more aware of life around them. Putting their needs and happiness ahead of my own in a way teaches them about being selfless and that sometimes we do this for the ones we love. But I also want to teach them we cannot always rely on others for our own happiness and sometimes that does mean being selfish. If I’m never doing anything for myself that makes me happy then what am I teaching them?
And so slowly I have been doing more things for myself that I enjoy. Last year I started this blog and made an effort to take time for myself to do something that’s just for me, like writing, being more social and going out with friends or doing a little shopping for myself. I plan on continuing those things this year, but I added to the list going back to practicing yoga (more on that in another post) and finally colouring my hair. And while all of these things come at a cost, if spent wisely I think it’s a price I am willing to pay.
So perhaps having pretty coloured hair is a bit frivolous and maybe a bit vain, but you know what? I’m glad I did it! I absolutely love the way it turned out! It put a big smile on my face and I feel like I’ve had an extra bounce in my step all weekend! And if I do say so myself, I think I look like one hot mama!